Don’t Stop Believing

Jaibala/ February 11, 2016/ Musings/ 22 comments

“Believe in yourself. If you don’t then no one will”

So many times I have heard this statement, and it is true except for one fact disappointment, failure, discouragement all are a part of life. Doubt creeps up on me like my shadow would; it is always there sometimes big, sometimes small. And sometimes people around me mostly add fuel to the fire. All this leads to fear. To me fear is second nature, and I have feared everything. I have achieved all the goals I set for myself last year and that should actually make me pretty happy, right! But not me, once I hit the finish line, I became more critical, judgmental and doubtful.

And then I got called a fluke and lucky, and all the while I thought I was winning. It was as if my achievements did not matter at all. And eventually I realised that the truth with most people, they fear the consequences of winning more than losing. Winners are looked at differently, and expectations out of them are different. I did not want to win. And I slowly started telling myself that I cannot do it. The end result was a loss of confidence and mostly an untried task, something that fails before even starting. Shattered hopes and a broken confidence are also added to the mix, because truth be told, even if you fail, having tried to make your dreams come true makes you more confident and more poised toward succeeding the next time you try.

The truth is difficult to remember when you are down and at the worst Click To Tweet

But all this truth is difficult to remember when you are down and at the worst. We all have our moments of despair and that is what will lead us to our fifteen minutes of fame. Because nothing in life is ever permanent! So how did I get up and move on toward that good that is waiting for me. How do I believe when it seems like nothing or no one wants me to?

Having a clear picture is half your battle won. It won’t let you go off track and will never let others drag you down. I must confess though, this is the hardest step. It is so easy to get distracted, to believe what others say and to just not make up your mind and end up confused. The more confused you are the more it is easier for you to lose perspective. I have been there; sometimes I still feel I am back there. But then I take a break and I write down what I want my ideal life to be.

I take time to understand what I feel and why I feel like this. Is it fear, anxiousness, intuition or just a block? Is it because of who is saying the negative stuff, or is it because I don’t really want to do it? Knowing the difference between good intuition and bad intuition helps a lot. Following something that your gut tells you to follow will always lead to good results and vice versa. Know the difference between the feelings that tell you to stop or go.

Sometimes I feel the way I do more because I ensure that people judge me. No really! The more I judge myself, the more people will. I learnt to be confident and happy by stopping the one thing I do most often – Self criticism and self judgement; at least for the most part. I believe that when I am at my worst moments of self doubt, there are only two people who can help. One is me; I can obviously help myself and do better when it comes to being self deprecating, and the other is the people that get you.

Yes everyone won’t understand your ideas, your dreams and your struggles, but there will be a small group of champions. Call them whatever you like your Posse, Mastermind or just simply friends you cannot live without and they will be there to lift you up when you are down. I have a very very small group of people who get me and I share with. They are my rock solid strength when I am weak and my corrector when I falter and the ones that raise me up when I fall. We share passion, and dreams and we nourish each others. Agree or disagree we are there for each other. Find your tribe, that is the best way to survive the negativity.

(You can get in on my tribe. Just join the conversations here.)

Another important lesson I learnt is stop trying to explain myself. Just stop, it never ever works.

So the parameters on which I judge whether a thing is worth doing is:

  1. Whether I can picture it in my perfect world and what my intuition says about it
  2. Whether I need to justify or explain myself and my choice and to whom
  3. Whether I will regret not doing it

Yes regret!

You never regret your failures; you always regret the unsaid and the undone Click To Tweet

Because life is too short to regret the thing you haven’t done. You never regret your failures; you always regret the unsaid and the undone. I have spent 30 odd years regretting the choices I didn’t make. Much like a lot of people who choose plan B, and somewhere deep inside them lives a little bit of regret. I grew up on regret and I don’t want my son to regret the choices I didn’t make. I want him to know a life that is full of purpose, passion and dreams. He is my purpose, writing my passion and my dreams aren’t a clear picture yet, but I am getting there.

Whatever happens Don’t stop Believing in yourself and your dreams.

 

About Jaibala

Academically a Microbiologist, I am a Web Columnist for popular magazines and websites, Freelance Writer and a Blogger. Words define me and writing and reading compete to be the love of my life. My biggest belief is that there is something good in everything and I always looks to highlight the best in things. Creative writing is my forte.You can reach me by dropping a mail at contact@jaibalarao.com

22 Comments

  1. It’s my manthra – “Believe in yourself” and its made sure that every time I fail, I get up and move forward.
    I think I need to find my tribe again. I thought I had it only to realize it was never mine. well – such is life.
    I am getting up again and its empowering!

    Powerful post Jai <3
    Pixie recently posted…Day 18 – hello!My Profile

    1. Yes belief in self can do wonders that anything else cannot. You do whatever is needed to be done then to get up again and again. That is what will lead you to find your tribe. Thank you so much Pix <3

  2. What a beautiful post. Loved the ‘there isn’t need to explain or justify yourself.’ Also ‘ you always regret the unsaid and undone.’
    It’s about a strong sense of self isn’t it?

    1. Thank You for reading 🙂

  3. Absolutely right, Jaibala. Believe in yourself when everything is alright, when everything fails, just don’t stop believing in yourself. I must say that I have a good experience in this area. Thanks for sharing this dear.
    Vinitha recently posted…Some quotes and thoughts #FridayReflectionsMy Profile

    1. Thank You Vinitha. Yes just don’t stop believing.

  4. Agree… 🙂 well penned Jaibala 🙂
    Archana Kapoor recently posted…He, Me and SupermanMy Profile

    1. Thank You so much Archie 🙂

  5. Ah, the very familiar ‘self-doubt’ story! Been there, done that – got the T-shirt! 🙂
    As long as you have your tribe, and you remember you have them, that’s what matters. They’ll be there to support you. And forget what people think of you – believe in yourself.
    Sid recently posted…The Silent ZoneMy Profile

    1. Yes self doubt and you know how much I struggle with it. It is a lonely place unless you remember that you have a tribe, and mine rocks 🙂 About what people think of me, I am learning to let go of what I cannot control.

  6. I am a huge fan of finding my tribe. Every writer needs one as Jeff Goins tells us 🙂 And I hope I am in yours 🙂

    Motivation is often the difference between action and inaction.

    1. Of Course you are a part of my tribe girl, and thank you for that. Sometimes it is the motivation and belief of people around you that keeps you going.

  7. It is very difficult to stay focused and positive when life throws only lemons your way! You are right when you say half the battle is won when you have a clear picture and you make up your mind to succeed. It is the fortunate few who have this clear vision of what they want and they go about pursuing it, relentless of the stumbles on the way. A good support system in life counts for much in this journey. Lovely post Jai!
    Kala Ravi recently posted…The Jagjit Singh Music Festival – 8th Feb 2016My Profile

    1. Thank you so much Kala. Yes a good support system really makes all the difference. As for clarity, I think if you visualise it everyday, eventually the picture does become clear.

  8. Yes! Yes! Yes! I will not stop believing in myself and my dreams. This post came in just at the right moment of a dull morning and filled me with new energy and hope.
    nibha recently posted…No Wedding Bells Please!!My Profile

    1. I am so glad that this post helped reignite your energy and refill you with hope.

  9. I so agree with you, Jaibala. It is always better to fight and lose, than to not fight at all. Just the belief, that we can make it, come what may, can lead us to victory .
    May you taste sweet victory, achieve your goals and fulfil each and every dream of yours, soon! <3

    1. True, regret always comes with not having tried, something you believed in. Thank You so much Shilpa for your best wishes.

  10. Wow..that’s deep thinking. Right now, I feel life would have been different had I made a more difficult choice. But sadly, there was no choice, there was only one way. I chose to close my eyes and believe in the Almighty. Thankfully, it turned out to be a better choice.

    1. Thanks for reading Lata. I am so glad that you believed in your decision and so happy that your belief was proved right.

  11. I agree. There are times when that hopelessness and disappointment are very overwhelming, so much that I stumble and forget the path I was headed on. But there are few who believe I can make it on that path and even if the stumble changes my direction, they pull me back to where I need to be. That ‘tribe’ is very important, because that push at that right time helps boost self belief too. 🙂
    Vins recently posted…After the LullMy Profile

    1. I am glad that you have your tribe that motivates and pushes you to what you want to achieve.

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