Happy To Be or Happy New Me?

Jaibala/ December 31, 2014/ Musings

Its the last day of 2014, a year that was really important to me. It brought many changes, many experiences and many lessons. It was a year that saw me change, grow a lot but at the same time, I still have many things to learn and discover. I finally realized who I did not want to be, but I also discovered what I wanted to be.

 Like I know I want to be that person, who does what she wants in life, irrespective of the consequences. That girl who has learnt to truly live, and be happy and make the most out of the life we have. She is a girl who knows what it means to have fun, and pursue her interest. That girl would fit right in with me trying to always put everyone else and everything else above what I want, and maybe I would learn to have some fun.

I also want to be that woman who speaks her mind every single time, who tells it like she feels it and not run away from confrontation. I don’t want to be scared or ashamed (for whatever reasons) about saying what I want to say and doing what I want to do. I don’t want to be bothered by the judgmental people, who would judge me either way. So I want to choose to be me, rather than try to live up to the heights of the pedestal that people expect me to sit on.

 I want to always trust, and believe in goodness, irrespective of all the lies I have been told and the people who have betrayed that trust. I wouldn’t want to lose faith in people now, especially when I have gained not just friends, but people who are a part of my soul, people who I know would stand by me no matter what. Damned would be the day when I let the naysayers, backstabbers and liars win, cause what matters in my life is the people who believe in me, and stand by me. They are the one’s who always tell me the truth whether I like it or not, and those are the people that keep me going irrespective of everything. I hope I cherish these pieces of my heart better, I hope I am a better friend, soul sister, and whatever else they need me to be, everyday.

 I want to be less reactive and more proactive, less of say and more of do, less of a can’t happen and more of a can do. I want to at least try what I think will make me happy rather than wonder if I can do it. Letting others tell me what to do is a thing of past, I want to learn and listen but do what I want to do. I want to work on my dreams, and never forget to dream having just remembered to.

 Being a Mother is a learning process, and I would always want to be on top of that learning curve. I have learnt so much from my son, and I want to continue to be his best friend and the one he looks up to, and keep learning how to be his mother. I want to keep fighting the fight to be me, irrespective of what anyone thinks or wants me to do. And most importantly I want to grow, because stagnation is as good as death.


So many things,

I learnt to be,

So many things,

I’d Like to flee,

But everything,

Leads to be me.


I hope next year helps me achieve some of my set goals (Yes I have set them already), if not all. This is my last post Guest Authoring for Project 365. I had a great month and a lovely time doing this. This is also the last post for 2014, an eventful year, one that I will always be thankful for, cause it showed me a lot of truths that I had chosen to ignore, or had not seen before. So, now I sign off 2014, see you all in 2015. Until then have a Happy New Year everyone, may you all get to be whatever you want to.

I am guest authoring for Project 365 in the month of December.The last prompt was “Tomorrow is the first day of a brand new year. Tomorrow you get to become anyone in the world that you wish. Who are you? If you decide to stay “you” share your rationale.”


About Jaibala

Academically a Microbiologist, I am a Web Columnist for popular magazines and websites, Freelance Writer and a Blogger. Words define me and writing and reading compete to be the love of my life. My biggest belief is that there is something good in everything and I always looks to highlight the best in things. Creative writing is my forte.You can reach me by dropping a mail at contact@jaibalarao.com