I Wish She Was Here

Jaibala/ July 8, 2014/ Musings/ 8 comments

I can’t imagine the number of times I have said “I wish she was here” in the days after she left me. The “she” I am referring to being my Naani, who I have written about before (Read the post here).  To say I miss her will be an understatement. Every time I look at my half made knitted bag, or the numerous crafts projects, I think of her. I just wish she was here.

 

I remember every time I fell, she was standing right there to pick me up, but never broke my fall. I always wondered why she did not catch me but then I realised that my mistakes were mine to make, not hers to stop.

 

Today when I whine, I think of her. Did she not do it all alone? Was she not strong enough, to handle it? Hers was a far worse time, and people advised her to not aim high for her children. She just proved them all wrong. How did she do it I wonder?

 

With the same 24 hours in a day, she managed to do all alone what most of us fail to do even with help.  She did make her own mistakes, and let others err too. It was her belief to live and let live and she followed that maxim all her life, even in her very last moments.

 

I just wish that she was here to say “Go, do what you want to do. Take your time and make your choice, and remember once you make your decision win or lose, falter or succeed, be proud, stand tall, cause that is what you managed to achieve or learn on your own. Don’t give up cause you think you will not win, just don’t give up. Your dreams are worth it.”

 

How do I know she would say this, simple that is because this is exactly how she lived her life, with her own rules, on her own terms, in her own way.  Still on some days I just wish she was here to hug me and tell me all that herself.

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About Jaibala

Academically a Microbiologist, I am a Web Columnist for popular magazines and websites, Freelance Writer and a Blogger. Words define me and writing and reading compete to be the love of my life. My biggest belief is that there is something good in everything and I always looks to highlight the best in things. Creative writing is my forte.You can reach me by dropping a mail at contact@jaibalarao.com

8 Comments

  1. Nani-ji is such an inspiring lady and love her words of wisdom. I am sure, she is always with u. Love the line, Don’t give up cause you think you will not win, just don’t give up. Your dreams are worth it.”
    It’s so true in my case where I am always tempted to give up…

    1. She is an inspiration every minute of the day. I am glad you found something to take away in her words. 🙂

  2. She will always be with you, all that she has taught you will continue to guide you 🙂 Esp. loved this line *I realised that my mistakes were mine to make, not hers to stop.*,, it is a teaching that should be given to every child…

    1. Seeta thanks 🙂 I agree childern need to be taught and allowed to fail and make mistakes. 🙂

  3. hugs! I know what you mean.. I miss my grandpa (dad’s uncle) in a similar way..
    She is always with you Jai – in spirit, in your heart 🙂

    1. *hugs back* <3 I just wish I had one more chance to hug her.

  4. Well, she was a wise woman, that’s for sure 🙂 You have a right guide. (and I meant to say have itself, not had.)

    1. That she was a very wise woman. 🙂 You know what your words mean to me <3

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