If you don’t believe in yourself then no one will. As real as this statement is, the truth is journey on the path of self belief is riddled with doubt, detractors, put downers and fear. And it is safe to assume that for most people it is difficult to immunize themselves against the negative. I have always believed in myself – but it is only partly true. The whole truth is I struggle with moment of self doubt, guilt and self ridicule even more than moments of belief.
Being the over thinker that I am fear and self doubt are my basic mode of functioning, and add to that insecurities, and that moment right there is the moment of The Pit. The worst I feel about my choices and what I am doing. It does pass eventually, but the Pit is not a great place to be in. Being in the pit takes a mental and emotional toll. It is when as a creator I am the most vulnerable and probably my resolve the weakest.
And yet I keep going. What keeps me going, wanting to write one word after another, when I don’t even think I am good enough? The one word answer to that is Passion.
Passion is what has taken a lot of people and made their lives better. Passion, once it sets foot in our lives there is no turning back or even looking back. Passion – the driving force behind happily spent sleepless nights, and foodless days. Passion, which is often mistaken for everything else but what is – A pure unadulterated craving to maniacally follow your obsession.
Passion, it lies in all of us, sleeping… waiting… and though unwanted… unbidden… it will stir… open its jaws and howl. It speaks to us… guides us… passion rules us all, and we obey. What other choice do we have? Passion is the source of our finest moments. The joy of love… the clarity of hatred… and the ecstasy of grief. It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we could live without passion maybe we’d know some kind of peace… but we would be hollow… Empty rooms shuttered and dank. Without passion we’d be truly dead.”
— Joss Whedon
Passion is what makes it hard for me to settle for mediocrity. The reason I want to type every word perfect, the cause behind the coder’s endless hours of perfect code, and that perfect financial report. Passion is not about doing different things; it is about doing things differently and never settling for anything but the very best you can give.
You don’t have choose ‘out of the box’ to be passionate. You just have to make the same choice all over again, even in the moments of despair. Your Soul just has to fire up every time you do something thing. That is how you know what you are passionate about! Remember someone can be as passionate about maths as I am about writing, and someone can be as fired up about balancing the account book as someone is about creating the next craft project.
Passion is what makes you realize your true value and hate the fact that someone under rates your work. It makes you care about what you are doing enough to be proud and stand tall. Remember Passion is about you. What lights you up like nothing else, what makes you chug on even when giving up or giving in seems the rational option. It is what makes your life bearable and unbearable at the same time. It is not a cake walk, but passion is what makes you ready for all the hard work and the moments of Pits that you may face.