What Change Taught Me

Jaibala/ June 10, 2015/ Musings/ 32 comments

Change something that everyone goes through, yet it is the most feared aspect of life. If someone had told me that I would be where I am today last year, I would never have believed them, in fact have laughed at them. I mean could anyone have guessed that it would be illegal to eat Maggi noodles this year πŸ™‚ . Change usually catches us unannounced, when we are stuck in a rut, and struggling. And usually how you react to change decides who you are and what you will be – and no I am not talking about the Maggi Ban.

Your attitude towards change matters, the manner in which you react to change matters, what and sometimes who changes matters, and finally when nothing else changes, that fact that you change matters. Something has to change; only a tree can stay rooted in a spot, and none of us are trees. A lot of things we need to let go of, and another lot we need to adapt to or adopt. Much like being the change we want to see around us we have to be accepting of change around us.

While we change, we must remember to not hold on to others, give them space because along with us they change too. We are just holding on to images, memories, and our idea of people, not them in actuality. Growing up, masks falling off, new leanings are all catalysts to change. We need to embrace the new opportunities, and take the new challenges head on. And our constant cheerleaders and companions will never leave us however the change affects them or us, because they have lived the change with us. Take a look and find out who are those soul mates, those people; friends, families, loved ones who are a perfect fit in your imperfect lives.

The legacies we leave are defined by the time we lived, and the choices we make. It is always easy to take the easy route, decide to please all, what sets you apart is your dream and working towards it. Recognising what you need to do, and standing by your choice. Never giving up though people around you would try to demoralise you. Knowing that you need to do what makes you happy first and everything and everyone else just comes later. Who knows what the next try might bring you?

Have I changed? The answer to that question is yes and no. I have realised that being nice is not always good for you. It can actually be your biggest roadblock. Sometimes you have to have the sense to differentiate between things that are good for you and the rest of the stuff. At the same time it does not mean that you can be rude and arrogant. A good person is powerful yet graceful and knows very well that humility and hard work both are the key to sustain anything. I try to hold on to the positive and let go of the negative, My happiness is in my hands now.

Everyone is different, has different priorities and will not always like you and that is fine. I cannot conform to everyone’s expectation of me, and not everyone can live up to my expectations. The key here is to be comfortable in your own skin, that when opinions and expectations, even your own, cease to matter. I figured out that we all are broken in some way or the other, and that is okay, it is just not my responsibility to fix it all. You don’t go do everything for everyone, especially when they do not respect you in return. I try to give back what I get tenfold if possible; respect where you get respect, trust where you get trust, love where you get love and faith where you get faith. Trust and respect are not mutually exclusive; it took me a long time to learn that.

There are some people I cherish, who I’d drop everything for, just because they need me to and that is reason enough. They are the ones that are the exception to every rule. They are my friends, my family, the ones who struggle along with me, the ones who have grown with me, the ones who have changed with me. They are the people who bring out the best in me, and I hope everyday that I do the same for them.

I know that I can be wrong, and just accepting that makes it so much easier but Life does not give second chances easily.Β  Second chances are very valuable, so appreciate one when you get it and be very judicious while handing them out. Rather than doing the same old thing be someone’s catalyst for change, maybe? When you fail, keep trying, eventually you will get where you are meant to be. It is always better late than never.

The most important thing is to β€œFind something you’re passionate about and stay tremendously interested in it”, just like Julia Child says. The rest will just work itself out.





About Jaibala

Academically a Microbiologist, I am a Web Columnist for popular magazines and websites, Freelance Writer and a Blogger. Words define me and writing and reading compete to be the love of my life. My biggest belief is that there is something good in everything and I always looks to highlight the best in things. Creative writing is my forte.You can reach me by dropping a mail at contact@jaibalarao.com


  1. a thought provoking note. enjoyed every bit of it.

    1. Thank You so much.

  2. These are tough lessons Jaibala and not easy ones to accept or learn from at the start. But as you rightly pointed out if we are ready for it, we will take these lessons and apply them to every aspect of life. Beautiful point about faith and trust there. I would also add that respect must be given to be earned. May you always stay blessed in the company of your loved ones.

    1. Shailaja, I have struggled to accept some of these for ages now. But once I did, life became so much simpler and easier. I agree, Respect is not a right that you can demand. One has to learn to give, before you get any respect. Thank You Shailaja, I feel so blessed to have some amazing people in my life πŸ™‚

  3. Excellent words of wisdom here. πŸ™‚ We all evolve over time and adapt to the changes around us (and if we don’t, then there’s going to be problems). Some things, of course, never change and that can be good too.The French have an expression: “The more things change, the more they stay the same.”

    1. Hmm….”The more things change the more they remain the same”, food for thought. As for things that never change yes those are there too. Change I think is also about the prudence to know what should and should not change. Thanks for reading Debbie πŸ™‚

  4. When people tell me that I have changed, I usually smile and shrug it off. It’s so important to understand that everything changes and even we do! The circumstances, journey transforms us. People stick to their own version of images so much that they fail to realize it.

    1. Change and growth is so feared that something that should be celebrated is actually feared by people, and the hold on as hard as they can to the past, to where they are. Thanks for reading Sakshi, lovely having you here πŸ™‚

  5. Well said. Change is essential for our growth.

    1. Thanks for reading Rekha. It so important to move on and change πŸ™‚

  6. This post resonates with me. I have recently started driving – again. I used to drive until I met with a huge accident and then just gave up on it. I got into a comfortable space where I let my hubby drive me around and resisted getting behind the wheel. I stayed in this comfort zone for over 2 years and now I have made a conscious choice to come out of it. Accept the change, conquer my fear and start driving.
    A very well written , thought provoking post. Thanks for sharing, Jaibala.

    1. Ah that is a fear I have yet to overcome, driving. But then all in its own time. I am glad that you are accepting the change and facing your fears. Thanks Shantala πŸ™‚

  7. I truly agree with the ‘being nice is not good for you’ part.
    Being nice is good, up to a limited extent. Being used like a doormat should not be the sole reason of any person’s existence!

    Loved this post! <3

    1. The worst part is most nice people do not realise until its too late that they have been used and abused as a doormat. Thanks for reading Mithila πŸ™‚

  8. A thought provoking post.. Change is not easy but it is very important. With time, we change, our friends change, our parents change..everything changes. The more we stay firm on the idea to change the harder it becomes. So, change to better yourself, change to bring out your best..that’s what I would say πŸ™‚

    1. And what a lovely way to say it. everyone and everything changes and so we must to grow, get better and improve, learn new things πŸ™‚

  9. Lovely post describing the importance of embracing change… When we understand that life is 10 percent what happens to us and 90 percent how we respond to it, we tend to embrace change easily.

    And IMHO, change always leads to evolution, which is needed “to embrace the new opportunities, and take the new challenges head on”, as you mentioned…

    1. Thank you for reading Vishal πŸ™‚ Understanding and accepting change is very important, when it comes to leading a happy life. And realising that what we do when we face something we did not expect or were unprepared for is the most important part of our legacies. πŸ™‚

  10. The only way that we can live, is if we grow. The only way that we can grow is if we change. So I too am all for change as it is a must have to grow in life!

    1. True Shilpa, change is the way forward, and important for growth personal, emotional and mental. Thanks for reading πŸ™‚

  11. Indeed, only a tree can stay rooted in a spot!! Better to change before you are forced to change. In a way, accepting change also keeps your mind free and breaks those chains in your head that keep you tied down. That resistance is gone and things seem more acceptable!

    Great writeup!

    1. agreed accepting that things forever will not be the same, makes you prepared to adapt to the change that comes. Thanks a ton πŸ™‚

  12. Change is the only constant and we have no other option but to adapt to it. When I look back I realize that I have changed a lot over the last few years personally and towards others. Some have been left behind and others get added on this journey. Luckily, the anchors in my life have stayed put.

    1. And if we have anchored correctly nothing can go wrong. I am beginning to realise who my anchors are and appreciate them more for it. I am glad that I have accepted change πŸ™‚

  13. Hey… Have been reading your blog for a couple of months now.. Ur good πŸ™‚ ! Let’s catch up sometime if you are in Mumbai

    1. Thank You Madhura πŸ™‚ Very much in Mumbai. Let’s plan something πŸ™‚

  14. “When nothing else Changes, the fact that you change matters” – very well said. Change I suppose is inevitable, what matters we how much we adapt or change with that change ! It is not always easy standing by your choices, but when you do, the results are pretty awesome !

    1. True, standing by your choices requires you to be so passionate about the choice that nothing can sway you. Whatever happens you tread down the path you chose. As far as change, you have to keep on moving, else you will just end up being a stone full of moss. Thank You Ruchira, I really love your visits here πŸ™‚

  15. Well said. Yeah, sometimes how we see the change is not how others see it, and how we’re affected will not be the way they are either. Space is important then. I too have a few friends who I’d drop everything for because they matter. Family too, of course. I like that quote. I’m glad you have a passion for words, and it reflects in whatever you write. Stay happy, and tremendously interested my friend.

    1. True space and understanding are most crucial to any relationship…..just like respect and trust. Like I said that quote is my motto now a days πŸ™‚

  16. That ‘Julia Child’ – she’s a smart cookie.
    It’s always about how much we try to adapt to change. The more we try to resist it, the tougher it becomes.
    Good on ya, girl!

    1. True that. I guess I had to learn the hard way to really know. And yes that quote is my motto hereon forth.

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